Working with Victims of Domestic Violence

In all of my work with people who have survived violence, and especially domestic violence, I have learned that people are always affected negatively. The symptoms may not display immediately but they will come to the surface. People generally want to see one another as good and caring but when someone harms you it is devastating. To control and confront the fact that someone harmed you, and in order to hold on to the perception that the person who harmed you is still a good person, victims often turn inward and display self-destructive tendencies. While this is a very common reaction it is wrong. If you have been harmed by someone you are not a bad person, you are not at fault. This does not relieve all responsibility, but none deserve to be physically or mentally abused regardless of their past actions.

Whenever I think of abuse and the affect that it has upon victims I always turn to a young girl that I knew. I met her while she was in a treatment center. She was between 13 and 15 years of age but she had been so abused mentally, physically, and sexually tha she had reverted to a personality that was no older than five years of age. This transformation was so complete that she talked in a voice that would belong to a five year old. She no longer had any concept of moral behavior, and she intentionally acted in a way to provoke aggressive behavior from the staff. I do realize that this girl was an extreme case, but the fact still remains that she had done nothing in her life that merited being abused in the way that she was.

One of the best resources that abuse survivors have are other survivors. You are not alone in the world. The best way to let your abuser win is let them destroy your life by keeping all of the poison trapped inside. If you will talk with others about your experiences and listen to theirs, then you will be able to achieve a better life and obtain peace.

-Ammon