I Admitted It... Domestic Violence in My Life

I Admitted It...

The following interview portrays a womans knowledge on domestic violence. Here, a twenty one year old woman shares her life experience now with strength...

Danielle: How was the beginning of your relationship? Was it somewhat on a normal basis?

Joanna: It was better than normal, almost perfect I would say. He had put forth much, if not all desire to have me while I was running the other way. I made him desire me, thinking it was right at the time. With all the attenion and promises he would declare, all I thought about was knowing I would be sure to have someone love me forever.

Danielle: How far into the relationhip was it before it became physical and what triggered the abuse?

Joanna: About seven months into the realtionship I found him becoming very demanding and dominatng. He would show a jealous side to him where he would demand total respect from my friends and myself putting his self into the center of attention, only that of what a weak man would show. A coward, of course!

Danielle: How did he handle his anger? Was it mental, physical or both?

Joanna: It was mostly physical anger, through insecurities and with self-frustration that I believe he took out on me feeling as if he was tryingto discipline me to have me become a "stronger" woman. Although it was both mental and physical, I was being brainwashed into thinking that what was happening or going to happen was the way it was "supposedto be." I was ripped apart by being slapped in the face, punched in the head, kicked in the ribs, and even more painful being whipped with phone cords a belt and even choked with a cable wire. Sometimes there is no measure to the pain endured during physical abuse but many women feel when their other is mentally abuseing them it has alot to do with thir physical status or by their professional status, but within my story, it was, it was not like that. My mental abuse was based on my social status, leveling our cultural background.

Danielle: Why did you allow the abuse to contine without breaking away after the first time it occurred? Are you still enduring the abuse?

Joanna: Sometimes a bad man is like a bad dream that just will not go away. The way we fall asleep we fall in love, the way we dream we scream. Love is blind. We have to wake up...eventually, right? I stopped dreaming.

Danielle: Do you presently come in contact with him? And if so, do you allow him to take advantage of you?

Joanna: I do speak to him today because i feel he makes me a stronger person. I know! I know! Your wondering? Well, I see it this way; if you experinece something in life, which you are able to overcome, you should be willing to speak about it and how you survived it. Never regret anything you do in life, because the things that you regret are the things that make you a stronger person today. With all that has happened to me there is no greater feeling in the world being granted the chance to measure the value of true love.

Danielle: What advice can you give to abused individuals around the world?

Joanna: A persons body is a gift no ther should take over. You as a person having personally experienced abuse know it has been more challening than ever alone trying not to focus on the physical pain but the mental strength it has brought you up until this day. From my first encounter of abuse in shock and stability, the pain has run dry. Women have to be able to understand you must overcome what others do to you and understand nobody is better than another in this world.

Danielle: What advice would you give to those that have never been in an abused relationship, who might one day encounter it?

Joanna: There are so many women that have experienced abuse and so many that know someone who has been involved domestic abuse that I hope they would learn from others mistakes. But the advice I would give them is to make sure you know the person you are with, pay attention to certain signs and when you notice those signs get out no matter what.

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